Lorelei's Tattoo FAQs
How many tattoos do you have?
Well, that depends on how you count them. For example, although I got them at different times, I consider the pieces on my left leg to be one big piece. But if you want to get technical about it and count each one individually, I have 21.
Why do you have so many tattoos?
Because I love them. I've been attracted to body modification since I was a little kid. Some of my tattoos document events in my life. Others are just purely decorative. I love every one of 'em.
Are you planning on getting more?
Does it hurt to get a tattoo?
No. It feels like teddy bears gently stroking your skin with fluffy kittens. Hell yes it hurts!
How much does it hurt?
That depends on two things. One is your general tolerance for pain. If you're the type of person who cries for twenty minutes after stubbing your toe, you probably won't enjoy the experience a while lot.
The other factor is where on your body you get the tattoo. Some areas of the body are more sensitive than others, of course. In general, fleshy or muscular areas, like your butt or bicep, are less painful than bony areas like your ankles. The chest and belly zone are no fun at all.
I tend to describe the experience of getting tattooed as "crush the Coke can pain." It's uncomfortable enough for you to put dents in a can of your favorite beverage, but not bad enough for you to squeal like a pig (unless you're a total wuss).
What was your most painful tattoo?
The big orchid on my belly. While I was getting it, I cried buckets, I bled rivers, I screamed for my mommy, and I saw a bright, shining light.
Not really. But I think I did leave permanent dents in Holly's steel tattooing table.
Don't you worry about what your tattoos will look like when you're old and wrinkly?
If the rest of me is old and wrinkly, it would be slightly creepy if my tattoos stayed smooth, wouldn't it? Kind of like the Tattoo of Dorian Gray... in other words, no, I don't worry about that. I think old people with tattoos are cool, and I have no problem with the idea of one day being one.
How can you do that to yourself? Don't you have any respect for your body?
If I did, I wouldn't consume such large quantities of Doritos, ice cream, and beer.
Does having that many tattoos make it harder to get a job?
Nope. In the first place, I can cover them all up if I want to. In the second place, I live in Seattle, where nobody cares much. In the third place, I work in the software industry, where nobody cares what you look like AT ALLas long as you do your job well.
What does your family think of your tattoos?
My mom could care less. My husband is bemused, but doesn't seem to mind (much). Some of my extended family think I'm mildly insane, but they love me anyway.
What do your kids think of your tattoos?
They love them. They always think it's cool when I come home with a new one.
Would you let your kids get tattoos?
Well, since the legal age for getting a tattoo in this state (and most other states) is 18, it won't be a matter of "letting" them. It'll be their decision to make.
Do you want your kids to get tattooed someday?
I don't care if they do or don't. Fenris and Orion are individual people, not extensions of me. Orion says that he wants a huge red dragon tattoo on his back someday. (Don't worry, it's not that he's a Thomas Harris fan, he just loves the song "Red Dragon Tattoo" by Fountains of Wayne.) Fenris swears that he wants a backpiece depicting the kraken breaking a pirate ship in half (he's a big fan of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies). I'll be hugely surprised if either one of them feels the same way on his 18th birthday.
Why is your skin tone different in some of the photos?
Some of it has to do with the light and exposure when the photo was taken. Sometimes it has to do with whether the picture was taken in the summer or winter. Yes, bitchy old goth girls change color on the sun the same way you do.
So did you like, airbrush some of the skin around your tattoos in some of those photos?
No, of course not!
OH ALL RIGHT, yes I did, but only on my legs.
Why'd you do a weird thing like that?
Well, I took a good look at those photos, and when I saw all the bug bites and blackberry vine scratches on my legs (not to mention razor stubble) I decided to spare you the horror.
You did kind of a crappy job, didn't you?
Oh shut up. I'm a writer, not a graphic artist. Just be grateful I spared you the sight. Like Joaquin Phoenix said in "8MM," "There are some things that you see, and you can't unsee them. Know what I mean? "